Prologue
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again
What the King’s men thought
This King has drunk too many kegs
He forgets we’re the palace guards
What do we know of broken eggs?
That Humpty is nothing but shards
What the King’s horses thought
We are horses, for God’s sake
We don’t even have any hands
We’re ever so sad to see Humpty break
But the King should rethink his commands
What the King thought
These are the world’s worst horses
And I’ll need to replace all my men
Next week I’ll get better resources
We’ll put Humpty together again
What the Queen thought
My husband the king is a schnook
He didn’t even put me in the rhyme
I’ll bring this smashed egg to our cook
She’ll whip up an omelet sublime
What Humpty thought
I should never have sat on that wall
I’ve always been wobbly and tippy
Now I’m broken into pieces so small
That my innards are disgustingly drippy
What Humpty’s mother thought
How could you do this, cruel Humpty?
Fate has played us a terrible joke
It’s painful to even be a Dumpty
We’ve nothing of Humpty but yolk
What Humpty’s wife thought
I fear that's the end for my Humpty
He was always a fragile sort
We planned for a baby Dumpty
But now I am free to cavort
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