SUPER BOWL FIFTY-SIX

 

2022 was our Bengal’s year 

Our return from decades of despair 

Who would have guessed the Super Bowl? 

The thought of it, too much to bear 

The Bengals won the toss and deferred 

Stafford sacked, the Rams had to punt 

Then Burrow’s pass was deflected 

The Rams were back in the hunt 

Stafford to Beckham, the first touchdown 

Then McPherson kicked a Bengals' field goal 

But the Rams marched back down the field 

Touchdown two put them back in control 

The Bengals soon came storming back 

Joe Mixon passed for a trick play 

Tee Higgins caught the ball for a touchdown 

The Rams, 13-10, on the day 

Quarter three, Tee Higgins scored a touchdown 

Even though he grabbed Ramsey’s facemask 

Then the Bengals intercepted Stafford 

Kicker Evan McPherson, up to the task

Fourth quarter, the ball went back and forth 

The Rams finally scored on a one-yard pass 

The Bengal got the ball with one twenty-five left 

But Joe Burrow’s team ran out of gas 

The final score, twenty-three to twenty 

 It easily could have gone the other way 

But our Bengals had a fantastic season 

And we think it a truly great day

NEWS OF THE DAY

 

The president’s numbers are low 

The midterm forecast, pure woe 

The voters are bitter

Mass outrage on Twitter 

The Dems better raise lots of dough 

The Omicron variant is here 

The scariest time of the year 

It spreads like wildfire 

Oldies’ outlooks are dire 

Once again locked away by our fear 

The committee’s investigating the Jan. 6 attack 

We, the public, await their feedback 

Team Trump won’t comply 

Obeying orders from on high 

Even so the committee’s on track 

"Legitimate political discourse” 

That’s the violent insurrection, of course 

The RNC is insane 

Echoing Trump’s false refrain 

When even Mitch McConnell has changed course 

Twitter cancelled Rep. Taylor Greene 

For lying about the vaccine 

Marjorie didn’t blink 

She relishes a stink 

And has endless other ways to be obscene 

Novak Djokovic is under the gun 

He’s put off seeking number twenty-one 

Novak fears the vaccine 

Imagines side effects unseen 

So this year's Grand Slams may be done 

The U. of M. Prez lost his job 

Because of his secret heartthrob 

Emails eking affection 

Hints of carnal predilection 

So Schlissel went out with a sob 

And CNN’S Jeff Zucker resigned 

His love interest put left him in a bind 

Though both were divorced 

Disclosure rules were enforced 

So now Jeff is badly maligned 

The Queen gave the Duchess her blessing

“I’m Queen Consort,” said Camilla, effervescing 

Prince Charles, so glad 

Though Prince Harry is mad 

The monarchy needs this, I’m guessing