Thursday, August 24, 2017

Pet Peeves

I try to be mellow in most of my life 
But pet peeves, I do have a few 
Little glitches that make me go crazy
And leave me bogged down in a stew 

I belong to this neighborhood website
Members bring up the daffiest things
They ask the whole town what a noise was 
Or where to get free water wings 

The man throws the paper in our driveway 
But sometimes I check, it’s not there
What kind of dork steals our paper?
And how can they think that that’s fair? 

The worst things of all are the marketing calls
That’s all we get on our landline
Sometimes I holler and vent and rage
But mostly I whimper and whine 

Recently things have gotten even worse
These criminals are invading my cell
I never would say it out loud to them 
But I hope that they go straight to Hell 

Our house has one bin for recycling
And one more for regular trash 
Someone who lives here breaks all of the rules
Our recycling is just balderdash

Popcorn at the movies is shocking 
Their profit’s nine hundred percent 
Of course they make zero on tickets
I suppose I’ll retract my lament 

The skateboarders do tricks on a side street
Even though they are breaking the rule
Some have now reached their mid-thirties
I suppose that they think they’re still cool

Our side yard is now a shuttle bus stop
The university claimed it their own
The students hang out in our driveway
Absorbed in what’s on their iPhone

The dog poops in our grass are a nuisance
Although I’ve been guilty of the same
You never know who is the culprit
But I don’t think the dogs are to blame

I’m also annoyed at the man down the block
Who is feeding the birds loaves of bread 
He spreads white bread slices up and down the street
What bird wants to be white bread fed? 

One house still has their Trump sign in their yard 
They apparently feel they have won 
I think that they should be embarrassed
Disgusting, when all’s said and done 

Now that I’ve finished my excellent list
Every item, I’d say, is small stuff
Perhaps I can manage to be more grownup
And avoid getting into a huff