Ladies Who Lunch

                            by Katja Lundgren 

Ladies who lunch

Who are we, sitting in restaurant windows

Sun shining behind our silvery, peppery, gold and auburn streaked hair

Catching up on weeks and months flown by

Catching glimpses of wrinkled necks and droopy eyes

Grasping each other in arms that sag but hold each other firm- as if afraid our lives will vanish with our salads and Bloody Marys

Kiss, Kiss – we blow gently on each cheek

and make deep promises to keep in touch

Before we lose each other – again.

Texas Terror T-Tale

Two turbulent Texas towns

Tainted tyrants turn to terror

Teen toughs threaten townsfolk

Tomboys torment toddlers 

Terrible trouble

Tiny tots traumatized 

Totally true 

Till Thursday, the tide then  turns

Tenacious troopers travel to the towns 

Tackling these tyrants 

Trouncing the thugs

Thrilling tactics

Terror turns to tranquility

Tyranny thwarted

Tolerance triumphs

Two tarnished Texas towns that thrive today    

Junk Mail Correspondence

lundgrendc…  open immediately

This message is from a trusted sender

Dear Trusted Sender, this is such a relief

My recent senders — a psycho, a thief 

P*O*R*N*S*T*R*Secret

Belive it or not, Men’s Secret is Probably in your pantry

     I searched my pantry for an hour or two 

     Found only one secret, Gorilla Glue 

The Savings Bank U.S

ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE? 

I asked my doctor this very question

He’s ordered a test for my next session 

LESBIAN COMMUNITY

Subscription Confirmed

     Can I be a lesbian if I’m a man? 

     I’d always heard there’s some kind of ban  

Esmeralda Psychic

lundgrendc, what I have to tell you could change your life

     Tell me, Esmeralda, does my future hold hope?

     I’ve been scared to death by my horoscope 

George Henley

Did You Forget Something?  There’s a special, exotic flower that 

helps preserve memory.

     I don’t have much memory left to preserve 

     But a flower exotic would perk up my verve 

DATING-SECRETS

HOW SHE_WANTS YOU_TO TURN HER_ON.

     I asked my date but this made her scoff

     Her preference on dates is to be turned off  

Keto Tone

New Skinny Pill Kills Your Fat.  This Diet is Sweeping The Nation

     Appealing but I am content with my fat 

     It makes me cuddly, so says my cat 

vAlentiMe

Gorgeous Bitch Women Are Waiting to Meet You

     Gorgeous Bitch Women, to me, are a threat

     The very idea, I break into a sweat

New Health News

Anxiety? Depression? CBD OIL could be a Lifesaver

     Anxiety, depression, I’ve more than I need

     Will CBD OIL restore an old Swede?

Dorathy Gaby

I will like to disclose something very important to you, get back for

more details.  Regards. Mrs Dorathy Gaby

     Dear Dorathy, I will disclose this to you 

     Your parents — bad spellers, so sorry but true

Gay Porn

Thank’s For Joining

Tell me, just what is involved in gay porn? 

Now that I’ve joined, will I be less forlorn? 

hi

someone is Searching For You.. Find out now!

Hey Someone, I am joining your quest 

I’ve lost myself too and am most distressed

Apple News

The Downside to good Hygiene

I too think Hygiene is over-rated

Cleanliness, sanitation — thoroughly outdated

Flirt Message

Pritty Slut..Poked.you..

Such a fine poke from a girl so pritty

Best that you live in a faraway city 

 Exclusive Homeware

Does Your Closet Spark Joy?  Try This At Home.  

I’m happy to say that my closet sparks joy 

I’ve been hiding in mine since I was a boy  

WARNING ..lundgrendc

We’ve Detected Unusual Activity on Your Account

     Thanks for your warning, that activity was me

     I finished this poem — that’s unusual, you see

The Lundgren Poetry Register

How many Lundgrens in the world are poets?   

I googled “poetry” plus my last name

Some thirty-five poets named Lundgren showed up

Our kindred, a claim to poetic fame 

There’s Zachary L., writes of drunkenness

And Bruce L, a master of metaphor

Carla L. speaks of authenticity and hope 

Annika L., performance art and more 

Greg L. is known for erotica

Jakob L., mystical trips to Spain 

Neale L., higher love and longing

Jackson L., doubt in the human brain 

Marie L. writes poems for children 

Chad L. favors haiku 

Megan L. does Sidewalk Poetry

Andrea L., science fiction too  

Plus Anna L., Kelly, Tyler, Miriam, Jan, Linnea

Ellen L., Hjalmar, Laura, Cissi, and Emily L.

Susanna, Ivna, Stephen, Jane, and Lorita

Eric L., George, Jody, Elzene, Chris, Aimee L.

My one disappointment, no David L. showed up

This makes me grumpy, distrustful of my search

I’m sending this message to Google 

Their accuracy, I fear I’ll besmirch  

5000 Towels

The sign at the Health Plex announced in bold print 

“5000 towels are missing each year” 

5000 towels?  That’s 14 per day! 

How could five thousand towels disappear? 

I once had an uncle who stole hotel towels

Outraged at the room rates — he thought them too high

So he’d bring towels home as a gift to my mom 

Then she’d slip them to us on the sly  

The Health Plex, of course, has an older crowd

Some portion are mildly demented 

They stick those towels in their gym bags 

And wander off home quite contented

On the dark side, we have those with towel fetishes

Sniffing body odors can be a kick  

To feed such a habit, you need fresh dirty towels 

Two dozen a week does the trick 

I’m keeping my eye on a worker named Edith 

She’s in charge of the laundry machines

Looks like the sort who’d sell towels at the flea 

Five thousand would keep her in jeans     

The Health Plex may implement drastic methods 

Perhaps a deposit, four dollars or five 

The world’s bad enough, all this stuff in the news 

No towels, we’ll never survive

My Very First Post Mo dern Po emmmm

In the beginning

Darkness….Silence

The cavern entrance sealed

A cesspool of rancid        liquid

laps against tender walls

Nausea ….. Vomitus

Leeches and deadly eels

wriggle toward 

the surface

Putrid odors of the primeval lake

       threaten to befoul 

the earth and the heavens

[Author note #1: My first stanza, as is clear from its many metaphors (beginning, darkness, cavern, liquid, walls, odors, nausea, etc.), is a description of what my mouth tastes like when I first wake up in the morning.]

The sun creaks over the hilltops

Lyrical songs of the meadow lark
Gentle winds sweep the cobwebs

off white stone fences

and waft delicate fragrances

of lilacs and wisteria 

across the Elysian fields 

[Author note #2:  Continuing my early morning experience at the bathroom sink, the second stanza describes what my mouth tastes like after I brush my teeth with Colgate toothpaste.]  

Suddenly

the thunderclouds part              Lightning flashes!!!

Yellow eyes blazing

Vengeance afoot

Protecting the vulnerable sibling 
The Black Beast spreads her massive wings 

ripping at my rib cage with her talons

feasting on pungent black blood

Near death, heart ripped asunder

I seek and draw sustenance from the pale brown tortoni

A flicker of hope

Then a choir of angels 

Salvation

Redemption 

[Author note #3: Later in the day, my concluding stanza describes how much my mouth enjoys  butterscotch ice cream after my Mother punishes me for torturing my younger Brother.]

La Fin          Lopussa          Koniec

I Voted For Trump

In 2016 I voted for Trump
The best thing I've done in my life
America gets greater every single week
What we prayed for, me and the wife

I've always been a true fan of Trump
We watched "The Apprentice" for years
Such a strong leader, so bossy, so tough
He'd reduce all his underlings to tears

I never knew much about history
But Trump's the best president ever
He gets all his facts from cable TV
He doesn't need books, he's so clever

America's standing in the world had declined
But Trump will soon have us on top
Canada, England -- you better watch out
Your ripping us off has to stop

Trump's appointments, simply fantastic
DeVos, she'll end government schools
Scott Pruitt, more drilling and fracking
The lefties are looking like fools

Trump says we backers would follow him
If he shot someone out on the street
Of course we would follow him, you idiot
Those losers deserve some Trump heat

Trump's proven that most of the media is fake
Fox News is the one source to trust
Sean Hannity is smarter than Einstein
But Maddow, good grief, she's a bust

Trump will stop all these mass killings
Guns in the classroom for teachers
Even the children should carry guns
Not to mention machine guns for preachers

Congress will soon fund Trump's border wall
Stop killers and rapists flooding in
Trump will keep us a Caucasian nation
Mexicanos, you'll take it on the chin

Trump is now nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize
He deserves it much more than Obama
He's threatened North Korea with nuclear war
And stirred up the Middle East drama

The midterm elections are coming up
I wouldn't have bothered in the past
But now I'll support every ally of Trump
White nationalists will triumph, such a blast

Grading This Poem

I think I will give this poem a C

Its meter is flawed, it has dubious rhymes  

Perhaps I’d do better if I felt more free

My mind’s clogged with goop in these god-awful times 

To write an “A” poem, that’s no easy task 

I lack noble sentiments that could fill the bill 

So why even bother, you probably ask 

Especially of someone bereft of much skill  

I mostly write poems to please the teacher 

The best way to do this, a verse that’s funny

Or maybe an ode to an alien creature 

Gobbling infants by the brook on a morn that’s sunny

Too frightful, this author is lyrically deaf
I've changed my mind, this poem gets an F