Autobiographical: A 7 x 7 x 7 Poem*

Firstborn son to Doris, Vic 

Menominee, Michigan

Thick of the Great Depression 

Off to Washington Grade School

Littlest kid in the class

Number two at spelling

Though next to last at marbles 

Age nine, we moved out of town

Our pine house on the river 

My two brothers, my sister

Not one other kid nearby

Irish setters, Mike, Micky

Swimming with the bloodsuckers

Basketball versus Steven 

Soon Menominee High School

Good at English, math, and art 

Wood shop, probably the worst 

Clerked at Grandfather’s drugstore 

Cruised with chums around the loop

Too shy to have a girlfriend

Braces in my senior year

Antioch by accident      

First an engineering nerd

Then Lit, then Psychology

Second year I fell in love

Wore our berets like beatniks 

Drank a lot of three-two beer 

Married Katja at the end 

Graduate school a nightmare             

Big Ten, Michigan football  

My dissertation, good grief

Six years, then off to Cincy

Joint appointment, Psych and Soc

An anxious classroom teacher

Struggling to get tenure

Justin born in sixty-nine

We bought our house in Clifton

Katja, teacher, social work

Such insane tennis parents

We lost our fathers, mothers

Then three brothers, much too young 

Hikes with sheepdogs and a friend

I retired, 2-0-0-9

Joined the gym, took line dancing 

Started OLLI, back to school

Writing loony poetry

Family visits to NOLA 

Grandkids, Vida and Leo

And that’s my story to date

    *7 stanzas; 7 lines per stanza; 7 syllables per line (plus a 7-syllable title)

An Oedipal Dream

When my father departed 

to join the war in the Pacific 

I was appointed the man of the house

Sacred protector of my mother, my sister

even though I not yet reached seven

One day as we sipped lemonade in the garden 

a large hairy man with golden eyes 

charged toward us on his horse

It was Kublai Khan himself

He leapt from his fiery steed 

unleashing his double-edged sword

“Stay behind me”

I shouted to my loved ones

“I need no help”

A bronze saber magically appeared in my right hand

A shield in my left 

We engaged in furious battle

for an hour 

for two hours

Finally I saw my opening

Darted in, swung, slashed off Kublai Khan’s head

It fell with an empty thud at my feet

I hadn’t suffered a single cut or bruise

This moment, I realized, was the reason

I had been chosen to take my father’s place 

Junk Mail Correspondence

lundgrendc…  open immediately

This message is from a trusted sender

Dear Trusted Sender, this is such a relief

My recent senders — a psycho, a thief 

P*O*R*N*S*T*R*Secret

Belive it or not, Men’s Secret is Probably in your pantry

     I searched my pantry for an hour or two 

     Found only one secret, Gorilla Glue 

The Savings Bank U.S

ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE? 

I asked my doctor this very question

He’s ordered a test for my next session 

LESBIAN COMMUNITY

Subscription Confirmed

     Can I be a lesbian if I’m a man? 

     I’d always heard there’s some kind of ban  

Esmeralda Psychic

lundgrendc, what I have to tell you could change your life

     Tell me, Esmeralda, does my future hold hope?

     I’ve been scared to death by my horoscope 

George Henley

Did You Forget Something?  There’s a special, exotic flower that 

helps preserve memory.

     I don’t have much memory left to preserve 

     But a flower exotic would perk up my verve 

DATING-SECRETS

HOW SHE_WANTS YOU_TO TURN HER_ON.

     I asked my date but this made her scoff

     Her preference on dates is to be turned off  

Keto Tone

New Skinny Pill Kills Your Fat.  This Diet is Sweeping The Nation

     Appealing but I am content with my fat 

     It makes me cuddly, so says my cat 

vAlentiMe

Gorgeous Bitch Women Are Waiting to Meet You

     Gorgeous Bitch Women, to me, are a threat

     The very idea, I break into a sweat

New Health News

Anxiety? Depression? CBD OIL could be a Lifesaver

     Anxiety, depression, I’ve more than I need

     Will CBD OIL restore an old Swede?

Dorathy Gaby

I will like to disclose something very important to you, get back for

more details.  Regards. Mrs Dorathy Gaby

     Dear Dorathy, I will disclose this to you 

     Your parents — bad spellers, so sorry but true

Gay Porn

Thank’s For Joining

Tell me, just what is involved in gay porn? 

Now that I’ve joined, will I be less forlorn? 

hi

someone is Searching For You.. Find out now!

Hey Someone, I am joining your quest 

I’ve lost myself too and am most distressed

Apple News

The Downside to good Hygiene

I too think Hygiene is over-rated

Cleanliness, sanitation — thoroughly outdated

Flirt Message

Pritty Slut..Poked.you..

Such a fine poke from a girl so pritty

Best that you live in a faraway city 

 Exclusive Homeware

Does Your Closet Spark Joy?  Try This At Home.  

I’m happy to say that my closet sparks joy 

I’ve been hiding in mine since I was a boy  

WARNING ..lundgrendc

We’ve Detected Unusual Activity on Your Account

     Thanks for your warning, that activity was me

     I finished this poem — that’s unusual, you see