Menominee River Pantoums: 2. River House

We moved to the river in forty-six

There were no other children nearby

The field was home to horseflies and ticks

At dusk we could hear the loons cry

There were no other children nearby

We lived on a long gravel road           

At dusk we could hear the loons cry

My grandfather built our abode

We lived on a long gravel road

The oaks were sixty feet high

My grandfather built our abode 

It opened to the river and the sky

The oaks were sixty feet high

Our house was of Norway pine

It opened to the river and the sky

Close friends came to talk and to dine

Our house was of Norway pine

My mother cooked whitefish and liver

Close friends came to talk and to dine

Mallard ducks flew in on the river

My mother cooked whitefish and liver

We didn’t have locks on our doors

Mallard ducks flew in on the river

Four foot snakes lived under our floors

We didn’t have locks on our doors

We climbed up the willow tree

Four foot snakes lived under our floors

My sister got stung by a bee

We climbed up the willow tree

We played on our basketball court

My sister got stung by a bee

In the woods I built my own fort

We played on our basketball court

We had acorn fights in the yard

In the woods I built my own fort

Swimming the river was hard

We had acorn fights in the yard

We shot cans with the twenty-two

Swimming the river was hard

The dogs got deer bones to chew

We shot cans with the twenty-two

My mother grew violets and lilies

The dogs got deer bones to chew

We children fell prey to the willies

My mother grew violets and lilies

The trillium bloomed in the spring

We children fell prey to the willies

My dad built my sister a swing

The trillium bloomed in the spring

The field held horseflies and ticks

My dad built my sister a swing

We moved to the river in forty-six

Menominee River Pantoums: 1. The River

[Note: Pantoums are based on a Malayan form that goes back to the fifteenth century.  They’re composed in a series of four-line stanzas.  Lines 2 and 4 of the first stanza become lines 1 and 3 in the second stanza, and so on.  At the end of the poem lines 1 and 3 are repeated in the final stanza.  The format for a five-stanza pantoum would look like this: ABCD BEDF EGFH GIHJ IAJC.  Baudelaire and Victor Hugo were among writers who popularized the pantoum in the nineteenth century.]

 1.  The River

We lived far from town on the River Road

Pig Island was across the way

Down the river the flotsam flowed

We swam off our shore every day

Pig Island was across the way

We took like fish to the water

We swam off our shore every day

My brother trapped muskrats and otter

We took like fish to the water

Our mother watched from the lawn

My brother trapped muskrats and otter

We might spot a doe or a fawn

Our mother watched from the lawn

Fishermen passed by the shore

We might spot a doe or a fawn

At sundown the herons would soar

Fishermen passed by the shore

The bloodsuckers stuck to our toes

At sundown the herons would soar

I sprayed my brother with the hose

The bloodsuckers stuck to our toes

We'd wade near the bank with our dogs

I sprayed my brother with the hose

We built a crude raft from dry logs

We'd wade near the bank with our dogs

Indian Island was our family trip

We built a crude raft from dry logs

We sailed forth in our pirate ship

Indian Island was our family trip

Dragonflies rode on our boat

We sailed forth in our pirate ship

We'd jump in the water and float

Dragonflies rode on our boat

The snapping turtles made us wary

We'd jump in the water and float

The river was thrilling but scary

The snapping turtles made us wary

Great hawks swooped down from the sky

The river was thrilling but scary

We feared there was quicksand nearby

Great hawks swooped down from the sky

Down the river the flotsam flowed

We feared there was quicksand nearby

We lived far from town on the River Road

The Ballad of the Dark-Haired Girl

I’ll never forget that September day

When I first saw the dark-haired girl

She stood on the lawn across the way

One glance and I felt my head swirl

The freshman mixer had begun the year

The huge crowd had made me feel wary

The dark-haired girl was a source of my fear

Though I daydreamed that one day we’d marry

I saw the dark-haired girl every once in a while

In the spring she was in a French play

I was totally smitten by her genuine smile

But to speak to her, there was no way

One year later I went on a trip

To Milwaukee to visit some friends

On my arrival I felt my heart skip

Fate offers such strange turns and bends

The dark-haired girl was there with my friends

That was so unlikely and scary

I talked with her about odds and ends

Then I told her my dream that we’d marry

The dark-haired girl gave an angry look

She said, “That’s the worst line I’ve heard!”

She seemed to think me a nitwit or crook

And she took off in flight like a bird

That was almost six decades ago

A precipitous time in my life

I often think back to the dark-haired girl  
Even now I’m amazed she’s my wife

Blue Is For Kitty

If my cat could change color

I think she would want to be blue

Blue as the sky on the Fourth of July

Though green is a good color too

Green makes me think of cabbage and peas

I could add these to Kitty’s stew

A cat dyed green would stand out in the crowd

Yet pink is a hip color too

Pink is the tint of an infant’s skin

For a cat, that’s radically new

Kitty already has a pinkish tongue

Though red is a smart color too

Red is the color of rubies

I’d love to buy Kitty a few

Rubies would make her neck sparkle

But purple would more than make do

Purple reminds me of vampires

At my throat evil Kitty would chew

She’d be another of Dracula’s brides

That’s why orange is a much better hue

Orange is a favorite color for cats

I know you have seen quite a few

Kitty, in fact, was orange at birth

That’s why I was thinking of blue

Yes, blue would be best for my Kitty

I could show her off at the zoo

But in fact I don’t really own a cat

So some of my poem is untrue

Sheepdog Maturity

When Mike and Duff were very young dogs

They loved to chew on our stuff

They ate twelve pairs of Katja’s clogs

And that was barely enough

They ate my glasses; they ate my keys

Ball point pens would drive them wild

I begged them to stop with endless pleas

But the dogs just nodded and smiled

Now that Duffy and Mike are more mature

They’re content to just nap on the floor

It’s not that clogs have lost their allure

It’s that chewing’s become such a bore

So that’s the end of my story for now

The dogs would say more if they only knew how

All Hallows Eve

The wind turns chill and whistles through the night

Tricksters in masks scurry everywhere

Halloween eve, time for thrills and fright

A pirate and a banshee wait for the light

A witch casts her spell, they stop to stare

The wind turns chill and whistles through the night

Vampires hug shadows, ready to bite

A child screams out, “Bloodsuckers!  Beware!”

Halloween eve, time for thrills and fright

A bumblebee clutches his lantern bright

Howls of wolves pervade the dark air

The wind turns chill and whistles through the night

A swarm of zombies lurches into sight

Returning to Earth from some dreaded nightmare

Halloween eve, time for thrills and fright

Kids carry treats to their porches bright

Greeted by mothers and fathers there

The wind turns chill and whistles through the night

Halloween eve, time for thrills and fright

Hey Diddle, Diddle, Donald Trump

   [Note: Written during the Republican primaries, Sept. 2015]

The day that The Donald took charge of the race

The world was turned topsy turvy

Carly Fiorina defended her face

And Jeb tried his best to be nervy

Our cat got out her fiddle that night 

So distressed by the Trumpmaster’s lead 

She played sad songs till the morning light

Haunting ballads of bluster and greed

Our cow tuned into a Fox News show

There was Donald berating Hispanics

The cow leapt so high she left Earth far below

That can happen when a thoughtful cow panics

Our little dog Spot found it all very merry

Bon voyage to Wisconsin’s Scott Walker

And what the heck happened to Governor Perry?

That Donald’s the noisiest talker

Our friends in the kitchen could stand it no more

Said the dish, “Let’s exit this dump.”

“Hooray,” said the spoon, “it’s you I adore”

“In Aruba we’ll never see Trump.”

So it’s Hey Diddle Diddle for Donald Trump

He’s worth ten times more than the rest

His hair stands up in a bright orange clump

That’s why Iowans think him the best

Leave Her to Heaven

Last week I watched “Leave Her to Heaven”

They released it soon after the war

I was only eight when I saw it then

It rattled me right to my core

Gene Tierney played a woman named Ellen

She married the love of her life

Glamorous, poised, and elegant

She was Richard’s true dream of a wife

But jealousy was her unfortunate flaw

And, of course, she was also psychotic

She murdered an in-law and her unborn son

Their marriage turned dark and chaotic

When Richard finally came to his senses

He left his wife barely in time

Then Ellen promptly did herself in

Framing him and her sister for the crime

I don’t even know why I saw this film

My dad was away in the Pacific

I claimed I was going to Donald Duck

Instead I watched carnage horrific

The movie, of course, nearly scared me to death

I was terrified by a character so vicious

Everyone was fooled by her good looks and grace

Not even her husband was suspicious

I suffered from nightmares for weeks on end

All my dreams had to do with my mother

She’d beckon us to her with a loving smile

Then decapitate me and my brother

I woke every day in a pool of sweat

Heart pounding and breath erratic

I scanned my room in sheer terror

Life at home was completely traumatic

I’d always thought mothers were perfect

Affectionate, loving, and kind

But now I’d seen Ellen kill loved ones

The thought of it blew my young mind

I started watching my mother each day

She’d always seemed decent enough

But now I could see she’d get grumpy   

And even border on gruff

I think of one time with my brother

He had broken our mother’s new vase

Her eyes got squinty, she raised her voice

Was that murder I saw on her face?

Despite my worst fears, you can see I’m still here

And all of my siblings were spared

I admit there’ve been times that I’ve been confused

But with murder it’s best to stay scared

I’m glad I saw “Leave Her to Heaven” again

Such a realistic picture of life

My mother’s no longer a part of this world

But I’ve learned to watch out for my wife

What They Thought About Humpty

Prologue

All the King’s horses and all the King’s men

Couldn’t put Humpty together again

What the King’s men thought

This King has drunk too many kegs

He forgets we’re the palace guards

What do we know of broken eggs?

That Humpty is nothing but shards 

What the King’s horses thought

We are horses, for God’s sake

We don’t even have any hands

We’re ever so sad to see Humpty break

But the King should rethink his commands

What the King thought

These are the world’s worst horses

And I’ll need to replace all my men

Next week I’ll get better resources

We’ll put Humpty together again

What the Queen thought

My husband the king is a schnook

He didn’t even put me in the rhyme

I’ll bring this smashed egg to our cook

She’ll whip up an omelet sublime

What Humpty thought

I should never have sat on that wall

I’ve always been wobbly and tippy

Now I’m broken into pieces so small

That my innards are disgustingly drippy

What Humpty’s mother thought

How could you do this, cruel Humpty?

Fate has played us a terrible joke

It’s painful to even be a Dumpty

We’ve nothing of Humpty but yolk

What Humpty’s wife thought

I fear that's the end for my Humpty

He was always a fragile sort

We planned for a baby Dumpty

But now I am free to cavort