Autobiographical: A 7 x 7 x 7 Poem*

Firstborn son to Doris, Vic 

Menominee, Michigan

Thick of the Great Depression 

Off to Washington Grade School

Littlest kid in the class

Number two at spelling

Though next to last at marbles 

Age nine, we moved out of town

Our pine house on the river 

My two brothers, my sister

Not one other kid nearby

Irish setters, Mike, Micky

Swimming with the bloodsuckers

Basketball versus Steven 

Soon Menominee High School

Good at English, math, and art 

Wood shop, probably the worst 

Clerked at Grandfather’s drugstore 

Cruised with chums around the loop

Too shy to have a girlfriend

Braces in my senior year

Antioch by accident      

First an engineering nerd

Then Lit, then Psychology

Second year I fell in love

Wore our berets like beatniks 

Drank a lot of three-two beer 

Married Katja at the end 

Graduate school a nightmare             

Big Ten, Michigan football  

My dissertation, good grief

Six years, then off to Cincy

Joint appointment, Psych and Soc

An anxious classroom teacher

Struggling to get tenure

Justin born in sixty-nine

We bought our house in Clifton

Katja, teacher, social work

Such insane tennis parents

We lost our fathers, mothers

Then three brothers, much too young 

Hikes with sheepdogs and a friend

I retired, 2-0-0-9

Joined the gym, took line dancing 

Started OLLI, back to school

Writing loony poetry

Family visits to NOLA 

Grandkids, Vida and Leo

And that’s my story to date

    *7 stanzas; 7 lines per stanza; 7 syllables per line (plus a 7-syllable title)

An Oedipal Dream

When my father departed 

to join the war in the Pacific 

I was appointed the man of the house

Sacred protector of my mother, my sister

even though I not yet reached seven

One day as we sipped lemonade in the garden 

a large hairy man with golden eyes 

charged toward us on his horse

It was Kublai Khan himself

He leapt from his fiery steed 

unleashing his double-edged sword

“Stay behind me”

I shouted to my loved ones

“I need no help”

A bronze saber magically appeared in my right hand

A shield in my left 

We engaged in furious battle

for an hour 

for two hours

Finally I saw my opening

Darted in, swung, slashed off Kublai Khan’s head

It fell with an empty thud at my feet

I hadn’t suffered a single cut or bruise

This moment, I realized, was the reason

I had been chosen to take my father’s place 

Junk Mail Correspondence

lundgrendc…  open immediately

This message is from a trusted sender

Dear Trusted Sender, this is such a relief

My recent senders — a psycho, a thief 

P*O*R*N*S*T*R*Secret

Belive it or not, Men’s Secret is Probably in your pantry

     I searched my pantry for an hour or two 

     Found only one secret, Gorilla Glue 

The Savings Bank U.S

ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE? 

I asked my doctor this very question

He’s ordered a test for my next session 

LESBIAN COMMUNITY

Subscription Confirmed

     Can I be a lesbian if I’m a man? 

     I’d always heard there’s some kind of ban  

Esmeralda Psychic

lundgrendc, what I have to tell you could change your life

     Tell me, Esmeralda, does my future hold hope?

     I’ve been scared to death by my horoscope 

George Henley

Did You Forget Something?  There’s a special, exotic flower that 

helps preserve memory.

     I don’t have much memory left to preserve 

     But a flower exotic would perk up my verve 

DATING-SECRETS

HOW SHE_WANTS YOU_TO TURN HER_ON.

     I asked my date but this made her scoff

     Her preference on dates is to be turned off  

Keto Tone

New Skinny Pill Kills Your Fat.  This Diet is Sweeping The Nation

     Appealing but I am content with my fat 

     It makes me cuddly, so says my cat 

vAlentiMe

Gorgeous Bitch Women Are Waiting to Meet You

     Gorgeous Bitch Women, to me, are a threat

     The very idea, I break into a sweat

New Health News

Anxiety? Depression? CBD OIL could be a Lifesaver

     Anxiety, depression, I’ve more than I need

     Will CBD OIL restore an old Swede?

Dorathy Gaby

I will like to disclose something very important to you, get back for

more details.  Regards. Mrs Dorathy Gaby

     Dear Dorathy, I will disclose this to you 

     Your parents — bad spellers, so sorry but true

Gay Porn

Thank’s For Joining

Tell me, just what is involved in gay porn? 

Now that I’ve joined, will I be less forlorn? 

hi

someone is Searching For You.. Find out now!

Hey Someone, I am joining your quest 

I’ve lost myself too and am most distressed

Apple News

The Downside to good Hygiene

I too think Hygiene is over-rated

Cleanliness, sanitation — thoroughly outdated

Flirt Message

Pritty Slut..Poked.you..

Such a fine poke from a girl so pritty

Best that you live in a faraway city 

 Exclusive Homeware

Does Your Closet Spark Joy?  Try This At Home.  

I’m happy to say that my closet sparks joy 

I’ve been hiding in mine since I was a boy  

WARNING ..lundgrendc

We’ve Detected Unusual Activity on Your Account

     Thanks for your warning, that activity was me

     I finished this poem — that’s unusual, you see

The Fall

Leaving the liquor store

one arm clutching the bourbon

two wine bottles in the other

my shoe caught the cement

and I landed face-first

on the edge of the concrete curb

Thanks to my protection

the bottles survived the crash landing

My unguarded face, not nearly as well

My spouse was in shock

Volunteers came running

helped me to my feet

My glasses, broken in two, lay on the ground

My face a bloody mess

At home I looked in the mirror

A ragged cut on the bridge of my nose

Bloody abrasions on my nose, cheek, and lip

Soon dark black bruising circled both eyes

Anxious, in pain, a mess

but after three days I decided I would be o.k. 

Even so, my connection to the world feels changed

Life is more precarious

More subject to the vagaries of random chance 

I find myself walking self-consciously

Apprehensive, vulnerable

My nose and eyes have nearly recovered

but my psyche is progressing more slowly 

Stuff We Learned As Boys

I did my childhood in the 1940s

World War Two and its aftermath 

My dad left our home for the Navy 

But I still learned a lot about being a man

The most dramatic lesson

Men either kill or get killed 

We observed this, of course, in the Movietone News 

Ships sinking, planes on fire, corpses in a trench 

But also at the Saturday matinee

Swordsmen, gangsters, pirates 

G-men, Apaches, pygmies with poison darts   

We children spent our off hours playing military games 

Or cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians

I owned a six-shooter, a luger, a .45, a rifle with a bayonet

A hunting knife, a jackknife, a Bowie knife, a machete

Loads of cap pistols, water pistols, a machine gun that shot ping pong balls 

Not to mention my bow and arrows

When we weren’t busy shooting at each other

We played contact sports

Basketball, football, boxing, wrestling

Determining who could triumph over whom

Who were winners, who were losers

Men, we concluded, don’t show emotion

Tough guys dish out pain and can take it

Being weak is the worst sin of all

Looking back, this was not ideal preparation 

for marriage, family, parenthood, friendship

Probably it was useful for pro football or the army

Creatures From Our Youth: Six Shadorma*

The Elusive Pine Snake

Six feet long

Lazing in the sun

Slinks along

Ribs so strong

Pine snake’s jaunt has just begun

Never captured one

The Mosquito’s Demise

Thief in flight

Searching for red blood

Finds its site

Poised to bite

I smack that bandit, Whack!  Thud!

Messy end to fight 

The Dog’s Lesson 

Porcupine

Nests high in the oak

Set to dine

Twigs and vine

Gives our dog a painful poke

Quills in nose, huge whine 

The Fearsome Snapping Turtle 

Jaws of steel

Swims past us at dusk 

So surreal 

Fear we feel

Ancient creature, massive, brusque

Eyes us for his meal

Bloodsucker Invasion 

On my shin

My legs or my toes

Breaks the skin

Sucks blood in

Then it hides out in my clothes

Much to my chagrin

The Bat Scare 

Flies through room 

Our mom calls for aid 

Dive and zoom

Grab the broom 

Get him, Steve is unafraid 

Swift bat meets his doom 

*Similar to a haiku, a shadorma is a six-line poem with 3, 5, 3, 3, 7, and 5 syllables per line.  It can be rhymed or unrhymed.  

Henri Magritte, The Choice : An Ekphrastic Peom

Our acquaintance, Everyman, is readying for the day

The accoutrements spread out on the rack

A bowler hat for sun or breeze

His trusty umbrella to fend off showers

And a choice of faces for his round of activities

On the left, a scowling, angry self

Eyebrows arched, mouth turned downward 

A face to instill fear in his underlings 

Or express disgust at the politicians’ vagaries 

To the right, a face more benign

Lips curling upward into a smile

An expression more kindly, more inclusive

But also a face that constrains its wearer to niceties  

Everyman vacillates back and forth 

The faces, of course, are not his alone

They reside on the rack

Standardized, stereotypic, available to all 

On loan from society for one’s temporary use

Like the red bikes behind the grocery store   

We can borrow whatever faces we prefer 

But care must be taken 

Faces we wear determine who we are in the world 

The power and the pitfall of the mask