Valuables

My wife  —  ultra distressed

Scouring the bedroom

Boxes flung about 

“I can’t find them!” 

She is missing two

pieces of jewelry

One a necklace

from her best friend Eleanor

The cleaning lady, I point out,

has had different helpers lately

“I’m not saying but…”

Then I offer my suggestion that

a lock box might be

a good idea

(Very long pause)

.

.

.

.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

I ask

“Not particularly,” my wife 

replies

“I could put my 

valuables in it too,” I add

getting more excited by my idea

“You don’t have any valuables,”

my wife says in a 

matter-of-fact tone 

“I do so … of course I do”

(Several minutes of silent thought)

There are my cuff links from Target

Or my large toenail clipper

Also my Roger Federer socks  

Then it comes to me:

“My Swiss Army knife!”