It’s true that grownups can be bossy
This comes from living quite long
They think they know stuff even when they don’t
Nonetheless, here is some of my life advice
that I’m going to pass along anyway
If I were to start my life over
The first thing I’d do: be friendlier to my parents
I spent too much time being moody and sullen
I could have asked more questions
I wish I’d more often said … “I love you”
My second really big mistake
Smoking when I went to college
After just one year, I started trying to quit
Then twenty more years of trying
So powerful, so vicious a habit
I finally succeeded when my second-grade son
came home crying from school one day,
after learning that his father was done for
One thing I am better at, I like all kinds of weather
Steamy hot weather is like a warm bath
And freezing cold makes one’s blood run fast
One time I complained about the rain to a forest ranger
“I love to camp in the rain,” the ranger said
“Camping is always good, rain or shine!”
We spend our whole lives either watching or doing
Watching in my childhood,
the movies, the comic books, the fourth-grade play
Doing — basketball, art projects, mowing the lawn
Watching is fun (and easier to do), but doing
is how we accomplish things
and create great creations
Here is a tip that Deeny-Boy gave me:
For each hour of watching,
do two hours of doing
But don’t always follow others’ advice
When I was nine my Uncle Kent told me
“Sleep on your stomach, not on your back”
“Your head is getting shaped like a duck”
So I slept on my stomach for seventy odd years
Now my head is flat on one side
Being bored is a waste of time
Things are not boring in and of themselves
All things are interesting if you let them be
Being bored is our own personal feeling
that we choose to have
when we’re nervous
or want to avoid getting involved
or think being bored looks cool
Another good idea is to floss every day
Teeth are most valuable parts of ourselves
If treated right, they will last a lifetime or longer
(Also drink plenty of water)
(Maybe six glasses a day)
(Preferably tap water from the faucet)
(If a plastic bottle, be sure to recycle)
It’s useful to carry three bandaids in one’s wallet
We all get cuts when we least expect them
Or perhaps your friends will need a bandaid
They’ll be amazed to find that
you’re so well prepared
The hardest lesson for me to learn
(Still hard)
Don’t be a scaredy-cat
I was scared of summer camp, scared of wood shop
Of going to seventh grade, even of getting a haircut
None of these dangers were real
Sometimes we can be our own enemies
I could go on quite a bit longer
I have collected at least seventy years of ideas
Here are just a few more
Keep a diary of your dreams
Chat with people whose opinions are different from your own
Read three books at the same time
Remember to say thank you for things you appreciate
Leave a dime on the sidewalk for someone to find
Don’t tell more than two lies a week
Learn about trigonometry and dragonflies
(This will be helpful on Jeopardy)
Start a collection, maybe pennies or stones
Turn off the lights when you leave the room 
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