It seems like each month I ingest more pills
My doctor assures me they help solve life’s ills
But each drug arrives with a Side Effects list
I’ll tell you a few and you’ll soon get the gist
Hearing loss, mania, ringing ears, heavy breathing
Joint pain, eye pain, chest pain, bone pain
Coughing, itching, cold sweats, unusual bleeding
Upset stomach, belching, rapid weight gain
Trouble moving, trouble swallowing, trouble sleeping, trouble talking
Nightmares, nose bleeds, hallucinations, amnesia
Diarrhea, clumsiness, problems in walking
Angiderma, xerostomia, tachycardia, asthenia
Tingling feet, numb feet, prickly feet, trembling feet
Swollen glands, dizziness, skin irritation
Fast breathing, tarry stools, puffy eyelids, slow heartbeat
Indigestion, constipation, painful urination
Runny nose, suicide attempts, shivering, sneezing
Slurred speech, seizures, aggressive acts
Bleeding gums, liver damage, vomiting, wheezing
Dermititis, yellow eyes, panic attacks
Flatulence, bleeding gums, dark-colored urine
Fever, convulsions, sadness, bad breath
Dry skin, scaly skin, yellow skin, blue skin
Acute renal failure, loss of consciousness, death
Most of these side effects aren’t so bad
The most inconvenient, I would guess, is death
But even death keeps your blood pressure low
The worst fate of all: having bad breath
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