MY OBITUARY

 

The older I get,

the more I read the daily obituaries.

Interesting but depressing. 

Just about all the dead people in Cincinnati 

have had more impressive lives than mine. 

When I draft my obituary in my mind, 

I run out of items after 6 or 7 lines. 

I didn’t belong to any groups of note. 

Wasn’t the champ at my golf club. 

Actually, I didn’t even have a golf club. 

I wasn’t the CEO, 

didn’t serve on any boards, 

didn’t volunteer for charity. 

never did gardening 

or scuba diving 

or wood-working 

or travels to the Far East. 

My obituary kind of sounds like a footnote. 

I think I will tell them 

to list my age and cause of death, 

my sundry relatives, 

a list of family dogs, 

No. 2 singles on my high school tennis team, 

my introverted nature. 

That’s about it. 

Instead of flowers, 

send contributions to the SPCA.