That TV remote is so slippery to find
I suspect that its rays might be curdling my brain
I search through the sofa, underneath, behind
With all this commotion, I pray I’ll stay sane
My spouse says the doctor should X-ray my mind
But at my robust age I’ve no need to complain
My trip to the mall, this does lead me to complain
From home to Northgate, very simple to find
I turned south, not north, I’m afraid that’s not sane
Just one more faux pas by my fuddled-up mind
CVS might stock herbs to jumpstart one’s brain
Magic herbs could keep me from falling behind
Losing stuff in the fridge, in the drawer or behind
The milk disappears, I fret and complain
The image of that bottle, so clear in my mind
My wife says it helps if I use my brain
Lost milk, it takes her one second to find
She hands it to me, harbors doubts that I’m sane
PBS dramas, it helps to be sane
I lose track of the story, I’m hopelessly behind
Too challenging, it seems, for my ossified brain
The meaning of Poldark I struggle to find
But despite my confusion I never complain
Even losing the whole plot, I actually don’t mind
Jeopardy was designed as a boon to one’s mind
A memory refresher that keeps seniors sane
I often know the answer but the words I can’t find
I shout at the screen, I twitch, I complain
The contestants too quick so I fall far behind
Please, Alex Trebek, help revive my dead brain
“Be sure to bring your name tag,” I instructed my brain
But I wore my wife’s instead, a silly prank by my mind
My classmates giggled, no need to complain
They’re used to my dithers, my lagging behind
Labelling myself “Katja”, who would think that is sane
But to wear my own name, not that simple I find
Senior moments I find give me cause to complain
Dead gray cells in my brain mean I’m losing my mind
Falling more and more behind in my quest to stay sane
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