Lizard Observations

About eighty million lizards

live in California's Mojave Desert

I know this to be true 

because I found it on Google

although they failed to report   

the total lizard population of North America

My final guess, 1.2 billion

which would mean more lizards 

than human beings and dogs combined

One of these colonies

is located outside our house

on our steps

the sidewalk 

the patio deck

in the driveway

next to the garage 

under the recycling bin 

here and there in the flower beds 

Our little guests love to relax in the sunshine

where they slumber with their eyes shut tight

then retreat to their lizard dens at sunset 

Cincinnati lizards are neither angry nor obstreperous

They never bare their tiny sharp teeth

or make unpleasant growling noises 

Quite the reverse, they are exceedingly shy

and flee at the first sign of human intruders

You would not believe how speedy these lizards can be

though they are only four or five inches long

The dog has never been able to catch one 

despite trying so many times 

They zoom straight up walls

scurry into minuscule holes

vanish in the tall grass or the rock pile  

Five years ago not a single lizard lived on our block 

but now dozens of them 

maybe hundreds 

share our space 

I am pleased they have joined our family 

We are lonely and bored during the pandemic 

and, thanks to our lizard friends 

we live in a more lively and exotic place

This Is A Poem I Wrote In My Sleep Last Night

  

D e t e r m i n e D    D e l i g h t e D    D e m e n t e D    D e c e a s e D

e                 e    e               e    e             e    e             e

t                 t    l               l    m             m    c             c

e                 e    i               i    e             e    e             e

r                 r    g               g    n             n    a             a

m                 m    h               h    t             t    s             s

i                 i    t               t    e             e    e             e

n                 n    e               e    D e m e n t e D    D e c e a s e D

e                 e    D e l i g h t e D

D e t e r m i n e D

The Best of Times

When I was just a kid in forty-nine

The world was a much more hopeful place 

The automat — the finest place to dine

Bob Hope and Jane starred in “The Paleface”

Our town had yet to see a TV set

Our telephone was on a party line

One penny, you could buy a cigarette

We viewed the House and Senate as benign

We rode our bikes to school every day

And milk arrived in bottles made of glass

We whiled away the hours at croquet

Latin was the language used for mass

Those times now seem the best of all and yet

How did we live without the Internet?

Twelve Years Ago This Autumn (An Ode to Retirement)

Half past six, our alarm screams out 

My spouse lays out my jacket and tie

Rush hour, gridlock, stops and starts  

My daily commute, a chance to die 

Who needs this? 

I scan yellowed notes, get primed for class 

One hundred deadpan undergrad faces  

My deepest fear, they’ll find me boring

No way I can gain the crowd’s good graces   

I feel a migraine coming on 

Tuna salad, I lunch at my desk  

Then off to the weekly faculty meeting

We pick at the rules for the umpteenth time 

Searching for an answer to stop student cheating  

Beating a dead horse

I meet with a grad student about her thesis

No way I can think of a workable topic 

Failing to give even subpar advice

I fear that my brain is becoming myopic

Anxiety and shame, doldrums

Back to my office, an hour of my own

I work on an obtuse research paper 

The findings are bland, the conclusions obscure 

Time ill-spent on a dead-end caper 

What is the point exactly? 

Postscript (Twelve years later, here and now) 

My biggest worry when I retired 

How will I ever survive without work?  

It took two days to make my transition  

Surprise, surprise, I’m no longer berserk  

Life is gentle, life is kind